Going All Night Long

Coffee for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
Its only been an hour, but I'm shaking from the caffeine intake today.
Last night I pulled the first all-nighter of the semester and I'm definitely feeling it.

I feel old. I'm not old, but I feel it.

Had a good old-fashioned mental breakdown over the weekend. Sometimes you just need to cry and whine about how much you suck and how useless you are for a few hours in order to feel better. And then cuddle with the dog all night to make it feel all better. I'm still kinda in a funk, but definitely not as bad as I was last week.

Last semester of college, yo. It's screwing with my mind.

My brain is full of the not-ready-to-graduates and the I'm-going-to-suck-at-whatever-job-I-get-if anys... Ew.

Anyway. To pass more time, I've made my first foray into jewelry-making. It's kind of fun, and I have a lot to learn but its really zen and I like it. I'm selling it at our Graphic Design craft fair, along with a few other things and baked goods.

I'm currently sitting in crit. It is super boring, as usual. I like to see it as a way to spend 4 hours doing absolutely nothing (although I need to write a paper that I blew off last night while finishing my project. ew.)

And on and on and on and on.

The Longest Weekend Ever

This weekend has felt like an entire month, even though it was only three days.
I spent the whole thing in my apartment laying on my couch watching movie after movie after movie. And the SAG awards.

For the first time since childhood, I have the stomach flu. College is such a cesspool.
It is just as awful as I remember it, except this time I had to go it alone.
No parents at my disposal to get me things. I had to get off my sick butt to get ginger ale and saltine crackers and gatorade and pepto.
Being an adult sucks haha, but I'm glad I don't have roommates because it would have just grossed them the heck out all weekend. Better off no one had to share in it.

Had solid food for the first time yesterday, rather unsuccessfully, but tried again today. Seems to be going well so far. Yay for small accomplishments. Unfortunately, though, this means I haven't gotten any real work done this weekend and that is a huge problem. I have so much work to do , especially for my GD studio it is unbelievable. Three projects going at once, no work done because I was too sick to deal with it. When we did portfolio reviews this week, mine did not go well at all. It makes me very nervous to graduate. I'm going to need to do a lot of extra work to even be at par on graduation. More than most other people in my class, it seems.

I'm going to do it, I have to, especially if I want a job at some point. I don't even know what I want to do yet. I know I'm not doing grad school right away, I'm going to get a job and work for a couple of years and then I might go on for a masters in art education, get certified to teach and all that. I know I can do that at NIU, so I could commute there and it wouldn't be too bad. But that's a ways off to think about. Its the immediate future I'm more worried about. What do I want to do? So much to think about... and not much time to think about it anymore! Eek! I'm a firm believer in whatever happens happens and that it will work out so... well, I'm sure it will work out!

For now, the more immediate concern is feeling better.. but damn do I hate Gatorade. Ugh.

Week 1 Roundup

Its the beginning of the end, people.
For real this time.

I can sum up my first week of class in a few words: I'm a wimp.

I have class on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday which is awesome, but each of those days I had an 8am class. I don't like that. My 8am Tues/Thurs was an exercise class. I signed up thinking 'Ohh, great! Group fitness! I bet it'll be some yoga, some kickboxing...'

WRONG.

Its running and weight lifting. I don't mind weight lifting so much, but running I absolutely cannot do. Its pathetic to watch me run. On the second day of class the teacher (A former Korean pro-baseball player who barely speaks English and goes by 'Hank') made us run a mile. I felt like I was in high school, only less in shape. Needless to say it didn't go well. I did it, but it was pretty sad. I have since dropped the class. I'll figure out some other way to stay in shape haha.

GD is going to be crazy. I have so much work to do. Projects to revise/re-do, portfolios, new projects, all sorts of things blending together. I'm going to lose my mind for sure. Good thing I'm not in any other studio!

I Live With a Bunch of Grinches

I usually love being home for break.
Christmas is always my favorite time of year.
Not so much this year.

Maybe I'm just cranky because there hasn't been any snow yet. I mean, what's a Christmas without snow? Weird, that's what! I don't like it one bit! I'm still holding out for a surprise snowstorm or something.

But I think it's more than that.
It's just depressing to be around the house this year.

Everyone is super cranky and/or sad and/or stressed. Name a negative emotion and it's probably hanging over my house. This is, of course, super frustrating when you're the only one with the Christmas spirit (and believe me, there isn't much left). I decorated the whole tree, 90% of the house, have made most of the cookies so far, and will probably have to make the rest on my own as well, and have wrapped all of the presents that aren't my own and will not be surprised if I have to wrap some of mine (and not peek) as well.

My mom and my brother fight like... every day.
He's always cranky anyway, it's like a chronic condition I swear.
Dad was super depressing the last two days (thank God he seems to be better now).

Tonight I finally had to escape upstairs to get away from it all.
Hopefully they won't find me or come looking for me until I have to go out with my friends who are all (FINALLY) home.

Those in the house will be lucky if I don't bite someone's head off in the next few days.
They are all seriously killing my Christmas buzz. Huge bummer.
I hate it when you're trying so hard to be in a good mood, but everyone else just has to bring you down. It's so tempting to go back to school early at this point. I don't know what I'm going to do after I graduate.

I sincerely hope that my brother moves out before I move in or I don't know if I can do it.

Someone give me some happy pills or something, I'm going to start putting them in everyone's food when they're not looking.

End of Semester

This is a very easy end of the semester, for once!
I'm already done with my Graphic Design final which is due on Wednesday. My professor really likes it (so he says now...), so I'm really hoping I do well on it. He said, and I quote "You really rocked it out this time".

First time I've ever heard that.

I'm done with my photo project and just need to print it tomorrow and take a few photos of my GD project. That's easy.

Anthropology... I'm not too worried about the final. I'm a little worried about the grade. I got a little lazy mid semester and didn't go for awhile, but I did well on the Midterm and the other big test, so if I do my reading and watch the one movie I missed I should be ok. Less worried now.

The only other thing is a five page paper for Art History which really isn't a big deal. I need to do relatively well on it in order to get an A. I think I can, though. I've got like an 89.5 in the class and she's one of those professors that, if we made an effort and she can tell, will round up for us.

In other news I ran out of my headache medicine on Saturday and have had little headaches ever since. It's obnoxious, but it's not worth it for me to tell my parents and have them overnight a few pills. Furthermore, it's letting me try out some holistic methods I've been wondering about. Some work better than others, and they're not bad ones so I'll be fine for two more days.

I'm almost done! :)

Silly Thought

So today when I went into my bathroom to take a shower, I had a funny thought.

When I was younger, I went to my Grandpa's house in Chicago.
I accidentally locked myself in the bathroom there. My Grandpa had told me not to lock the door because the lock was broken but I did it anyway.

Oh boy was he mad.
I remember sitting on the edge of the tub listening to him yell at me through the door (mostly, I realize now, because he was afraid he'd have to break the "damn door" down...)
I was terrified. He always scared me because he was so loud, but hey, I didn't listen that time.
It's funny, because I think if he was still alive today it would be totally different. I think we'd be a lot alike, especially from stories I hear now.

Anyway, the apartment I live in now is old, kind of reminds me of Grandpa's house. I have never, not even once, locked that bathroom door. The first day I was there, I found that the doorknob was kind of hard to turn. Every time I have trouble with it, I think about my Grandpa telling me not to lock the door. I won't do it. Can't.

I'm listening now, so that counts, right?

Also, I found this on Pinterest, thought I would share it. May have teared up a little. Why aren't there more people like Mr. Rogers out there?

Soooo Clooooose...

It's almost Thanksgiving break!
I'm so excited!!

No, seriously, because I need to get the heck out of Champaign for awhile.
Too much school and too much work, ew. Luckily the only things I have left for this week are an annotated bibliography (ewwww) and a photo project both due Thursday. I can handle that, but it is quite a bit of work. Luckily I have a work day in studio tomorrow to do whatever, so I can do that.

Furthermore, I'm over not getting into that class. The more I look at it, the more I realize that I really need to be able to focus on my last senior studio. I have a lot of work to do to get my portfolio into any kind of shape for after graduation and that is a big undertaking.

Sounds like there's a fight going on outside my window right now. Love hearing drunk people. I feel like there have to be better things to do on a Tuesday night than to go out drinking or at least to get THAT drunk, you know? My favorite was two very drunk girls the other night who were arguing and the one goes "It's like you don't want me to be happy or something... Why can't you just let me be meeeee?" It was great until the other girl started yelling back and I thought I was going to have to dump water out my window to get them to move along.

Three more days of class then I can get out of here for a much needed break (sort of! because I still have lots of work to do!)!