(Drunk) Musings.

So...
I haven't drank for two days in quite a long time.
But the good news is neither night (ie - last night and tonight) was out of control.

I didn't black out last night or have a hangover.
Same with tonight. I mean, I'm still drunk fo sho, but not terribly.
Just comfortably.

Lately I've begun to have doubts about my major again. I don't know if graphic design is right for me. I just don't seem to fit in with my peers. They're all so... political? Opinionated? Hipsters? I don't know. I'm none of those things. I'm an apathetic frat rat.

I hate politics. Hate hate hate. I want everyone to get along. I don't identify with a political party. I'm a realist. I don't like to run around preaching my ideals and it bothers me when others do (when they're forceful about it. if its a discussion I don't mind so much) but that's just how everything is. I mean, everything I do is expected to have meaning. To have a reason. I do things because I think that they're aesthetically pleasing. I like nice looking things and that's that. I put colors together because I like them, not because of how they make you react.

Does that make me unfit to be a serious designer? I mean, I kind of just want to do magazine layouts or hallmark cards. Something that doesn't require everything I do to be so in depth. I don't know. I keep thinking about switching to an advertising major. I could still finish in five years if I did. At the same time, I'm so unsure. I have so many doubts about both. What if I changed and was just miserable in advertising? I don't have the money to be in school for more than five years. My dad said he'd pay for five years and after that I was on my own and I absolutely understand that. I don't think I'd want to be dicking around in school for that long anyway.

Whatever.
I've had quite a bit to drink.
I've had toooo many cigarettes tonight (I'm stressed).

But I think I'll stick with it.
I need to experience it with a different professor.
We'll see. Positivity. Or at least the promise of turning 21 soon and a trip to Mexico with my ladies if we can plan it. And maybe a trip to Vegas with the parents? Perhaps?

Whatevs.
Love y'all.
Goodnight.