On Motivation

I really wish I was more motivated to do well in things. To put it bluntly, I don't try. I put things off and I put things off and then I end up doing poorly. My grades have slipped this semester because I'm just not motivated to work, and I haven't told my parents yet, but I'm sure they'll find out. I don't know if its because of everything that's happened this semester or just that I've had so much to do that I've just slacked off, but its not good. Its getting to be a more serious problem with me as I keep going. I'll be pulling an all nighter tonight because of my procrastination.

I put off studying for my pledge tests and now I don't have enough seniority points to live in the house next year and I'm going to be scrambling to probably find a one bedroom apartment next year. Awesome. Living by myself, woo. I like having my own bedroom, but I like having people around. I really wanted to live in the house and now it looks like that will be impossible. I'm like 14/19, so I'm right around the bottom. Even still, people below me are sharing rooms with people above me. I had no one to share with, so no room.

Maybe it will end up being a good thing, I just have to try to see it from a positive standpoint. I'm just upset right now, so its hard, but maybe once I'm away from school for a week I'll be able to put it into perspective. For now I'm just ranting.

In better news, its snowed today. It was really pretty and I enjoyed it. I had been griping all weekend about how it was snowing everywhere but Champaign and then when I walked outside this morning there were little flakes coming down. After my first two classes it was snowing pretty good with huge flakes and it was gorgeous. I also found my toolbox that I left in a classroom last Thursday. It was still there today, a professor had put it in cabinet so it wouldn't get stolen, so I got really lucky. So despite the toss up for housing, I guess you can't win 'em all. I've had some good things happen this semester, but this sucks pretty bad.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I'll be done with this godforsaken sculpture and the rest of the week should be easy peasy, so I just have to get past tonight. Maybe I'll make myself some comfort food... cornbread sounds delicious right about now.

I feel like a mole person.

This weekend is going to consist entirely of me sitting around in my room working on an inflatable sculpture. Yep, you read that right. I have a whole crap load of plastic sheeting and duct tape and am crafting it into the likeness of a crab.. that will hopefully inflate when we take the shop vac to it. So I feel like I'm stuck in a cave since my room is sooo messy. I can't even walk in it right now, seriously. I keep telling myself that I'm going to clean it, but I know that I won't.

Anyhoot. I got my nose pierced on Wednesday. That's right, I did it! I love it. On top of it all, I went BY MYSELF. My friend Bridget was supposed to go with me but it turned out that she couldn't. So I was walking by the place later on that day and I thought to myself 'Whats stopping me?'. So I went in, told the guy I wanted my nose pierced, filled out the paperwork and waited. There were two people ahead of me getting piercings so I was sitting there for a good half hour. Then it was my turn. I told the guy that I was terrified of needles and he told me not to worry. He told me what he was doing as he did it and before I knew it, it was over! Its still a bit sore, but that'll stop in a few days.

One week left until I get to go home for Thanksgiving break and I am soooo excited. I seriously cannot wait. I don't think I've ever been this excited for a break before. I've had soo much to do. Next semester is probably going to be worse but at least I don't have to get up for a 9am class everyday. I'll have a 9.30 on Tuesday and Thursday and 11am on Monday and Wednesday, and I managed to get Fridays off! Yaaaay! Now I can go home for loooong weekends!! That and once January comes, the pledge semester will be over, thank goodness! I can't wait for that. I'm so sick of having to do all this work for the Frat. Once Spring semester comes, it'll be my turn to be the one watching the new kids do it!!

This week.

This week is going to be a rat race, but hopefully the worst will be over after tonight. I have a midterm in three hours that I'm taking a break from studying for. I have a feeling I'm not going to do particularly well on it anyway, since its computer science, but I'm going to try! That's at seven, then I get to come home and finish a paper. I was going to go out to the bars tonight, but I think I'm going to stay in and work.

Tomorrow should not be bad. I have to meet my pledge dad for coffee, then I think I'm going out to get my nose pierced, and then after that I have to work on my inflatable sculpture. Luckily, its due on Tuesday. I thought it was due on Thursday, so I have the whole weekend to work on it. :)

I actually think that's it, so its really just tonight that's a pain in the butt. Also, they finally started closing the garage doors in our building. Guess whose rooms are right above the garage? Me and my roommate. Its soooo loud. We hear it every single time it opens and closes, its so obnoxious! Obviously I have no choice but to get used to it, so whatever. Its just these couple of weeks, I have to adjust to it. I also got a little sensor thing that lets me into the building. I thought it didn't work and then found out that I was pulling on the wrong door. Durrrr.

Time to study again. Woo!

Computer Science Kills.

Seriously, folks, watch out for it.

I've been sitting in this computer lab for the past 3 1/2 hours trying to do this homework. Seriously. I'm writing a program and I get graded on whether it works or not. Well, everything works except for a few key things and no matter how hard I seem to try, I cannot get this ONE thing to work. Its driving me crazy. I swear, all the good things that have happened over the last couple of days are viciously overshadowed by the fact that I can't figure this out. It drives me crazy when I don't understand things, absolutely crazy. Grrr.

I'm going to attempt to get my brother to help me and if he doesn't know anything, then screw it I don't care and I will turn it in as is and hope that I do really well on the next test and final because I bombed the last one of these homeworks too. It sucks. I did really well on the first three but the last three are something differ
ent that I don't get very well and I'm having a bit of trouble. I understand more than I did like... two weeks ago, but like I said, its just this one thing. I'm doing it exactly as its written for me to do, but no dice.

In other, better news, I'm going to Chicago tomorrow to the S.O.F.A. exhibit at Navy Pier :) Yay functional art? I don't know, it seems interesting. Maybe someone'll have a two story couch or something nuts like that. Mom and Dad are meeting me downtown and we're going to get dinner and I'm going to go home. Then just a week of classes, a weekend, and another week of classes and I'm done. Finito for Thanksgiving. I'll be glad just to be going home this weekend. Allegedly I'm going into the City on Saturday too with some kiddos from college, but I don't know if thats going to go down. I don't really care either way, though. I'd love to just stay at home and be a lazy bum.

Now I'm just waiting for my brother to get online. That little kitty there? Thats how I feel today. The hand? Computer Science.

HALP!

I Have no Immune System.

So, I just voted in the election, yay me. Most of it was just random since I don't have any ideas about whats going on in Champaign county, but whatever. I'm done, I have my little sticker and I think I might go to Starbucks later to see what free stuff I can get. I like free stuff, especially if it includes yummy drinks.

In other news, I'm sick. Again. Its absolutely pathetic. I have no immune system whatsoever. One of my friends once told me that I had the immune system of an infant. She was right. I was sick a few weeks ago and now I'm sick again. I had to go to the frat last night and before I went I took my temperature and I had a 101 fever. But I took some advil, sucked it up and went over anyway. Yay me. Today I'm not feeling too aweful. It was worse when I woke up but its cleared up some since then.

I had my last speech in Italian today, yay. No more of those! It was on emigration, so I got to talk about my dad's family coming over from Italy and show off some pictures, it was fun :) I have this picture of my dad with my grandpa when my dad was like 12 or so. Its so cute and my grandpa looks like such a greaser in it haha. I looooove it.

Its only a few weeks until Thanksgiving break, thank goodness! I am in desperate need of a break. I start my new section of design class today, which is nice because I'm done with my communications teacher, finally. Talk about a bitch. The only critique she had on one of my pieces was that my "photo could have been taken better" only she said she liked it a lot when I was in the process and then failed to elaborate on what was wrong with it. Whateverrr, I'm done with her. I have to set up a meeting with my advisor soon, but I don't know when. I don't know where his sign up sheet went. I was going to sign up but I didn't see it on his door. Oh well.

The rest of this week is just survival and then I have a field trip on Friday and then I'm going home, meeting my pledge class in Chicago on Saturday for a day of fun and then am going home after that and going back to school on Sunday which will be nice. Then after that its only two more weeks until break and I couldn't be more excited. I'm going to bring my christmas tree back to school with me and my roommate and I are going to decorate it. Speaking of, I need to take our Halloween decorations down now. Its going to be boring with nothing on the window, but oh well. Its a little bit tacky to have spiderwebs up and trick-or-treat in the window when the holiday is past.

Thats it for now, just some random bits of my life. :)