On Motivation

I really wish I was more motivated to do well in things. To put it bluntly, I don't try. I put things off and I put things off and then I end up doing poorly. My grades have slipped this semester because I'm just not motivated to work, and I haven't told my parents yet, but I'm sure they'll find out. I don't know if its because of everything that's happened this semester or just that I've had so much to do that I've just slacked off, but its not good. Its getting to be a more serious problem with me as I keep going. I'll be pulling an all nighter tonight because of my procrastination.

I put off studying for my pledge tests and now I don't have enough seniority points to live in the house next year and I'm going to be scrambling to probably find a one bedroom apartment next year. Awesome. Living by myself, woo. I like having my own bedroom, but I like having people around. I really wanted to live in the house and now it looks like that will be impossible. I'm like 14/19, so I'm right around the bottom. Even still, people below me are sharing rooms with people above me. I had no one to share with, so no room.

Maybe it will end up being a good thing, I just have to try to see it from a positive standpoint. I'm just upset right now, so its hard, but maybe once I'm away from school for a week I'll be able to put it into perspective. For now I'm just ranting.

In better news, its snowed today. It was really pretty and I enjoyed it. I had been griping all weekend about how it was snowing everywhere but Champaign and then when I walked outside this morning there were little flakes coming down. After my first two classes it was snowing pretty good with huge flakes and it was gorgeous. I also found my toolbox that I left in a classroom last Thursday. It was still there today, a professor had put it in cabinet so it wouldn't get stolen, so I got really lucky. So despite the toss up for housing, I guess you can't win 'em all. I've had some good things happen this semester, but this sucks pretty bad.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I'll be done with this godforsaken sculpture and the rest of the week should be easy peasy, so I just have to get past tonight. Maybe I'll make myself some comfort food... cornbread sounds delicious right about now.